Dick had been in Police work for 25 years. Finally sick of the stress, he quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in Alaska as far from humanity as possible. He sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise it’s total peace and quiet.
After six months or so of almost total isolation, someone knocks on his door. He opens it and a huge, bearded man is standing there.
‘Name’s Cliff, your neighbour from forty miles up the road. Having a Christmas party Friday night. Thought you might like to come at about 5:00….’
‘Great’, says Rick, ‘after six months out here I’m ready to meet some local folks. Thank you.’
As Cliff is leaving, he stops. ‘Gotta warn you. Be some drinking’.’
‘Not a problem’ says Rick.. ‘After 25 years in the business, I can drink with the best of ‘em’.
Again, the big man starts to leave and stops. ‘ More ‘n’ likely gonna be some fighting’ too.’
‘Well, I get along with people, I’ll be all right! I’ll be there. Thanks again.’
‘More’n likely be some wild sex, too,’
‘Now that’s really not a problem’ says Rick, warming to the idea. ‘I’ve been all alone for six months! I’ll definitely be there. By the way, what should I wear?’
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Monday, October 19, 2009 at 9:09 pm
Dick had been in Police work for 25 years. Finally sick of the stress, he quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in Alaska as far from humanity as possible. He sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise it’s total peace and quiet.
After six months or so of almost total isolation, someone knocks on his door. He opens it and a huge, bearded man is standing there.
‘Name’s Cliff, your neighbour from forty miles up the road. Having a Christmas party Friday night. Thought you might like to come at about 5:00….’
‘Great’, says Rick, ‘after six months out here I’m ready to meet some local folks. Thank you.’
As Cliff is leaving, he stops. ‘Gotta warn you. Be some drinking’.’
‘Not a problem’ says Rick.. ‘After 25 years in the business, I can drink with the best of ‘em’.
Again, the big man starts to leave and stops. ‘ More ‘n’ likely gonna be some fighting’ too.’
‘Well, I get along with people, I’ll be all right! I’ll be there. Thanks again.’
‘More’n likely be some wild sex, too,’
‘Now that’s really not a problem’ says Rick, warming to the idea. ‘I’ve been all alone for six months! I’ll definitely be there. By the way, what should I wear?’
‘Don’t much matter. Just gonna be the two of us.’
DL
Tuesday, October 20, 2009 at 3:57 pm
God said, ‘Adam, I
Want you to do
Something for Me.’
Adam said, ‘Gladly,
Lord, what do You
Want me to do?’
God said, ‘Go down
Into that valley.’
Adam said, ‘What’s a Valley?’
God explained it to
Him. Then God said,
‘Cross the river.’
Adam said, ‘What’s a River?’
God explained that
To him, and then said,
‘Go over to the hill….’
Adam said, ‘What is a
Hill?’
So, God explained to
Adam what a hill was.
He told Adam, ‘On
The other side of the
Hill you will find a
Cave.’
Adam said, ‘What’s a
Cave?’
After God explained,
He said, ‘In the cave
You will find a woman.’
Adam said, ‘What’s a Woman?’
So God explained
That to him, too.
Then, God said, ‘I
Want you to
Reproduce.’
Adam said, ‘How do
I do that?’
God first said (under
His breath), ‘Geez…..’
And then, just like Everything else, God Explained that to
Adam, as well.
So, Adam goes down
Into the valley,
Across the river, and
Over the hill, into the
Cave, and finds the
Woman.
Then, in about five Minutes, he was back.
God, His patience
Wearing thin, said
Angrily, ‘What is it
Now?’
And Adam said….
*
*
(YOU’RE GOING TO
LOVE THIS!!!!!!)
*
‘What’s a headache?